Monday, January 7, 2008

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Alone and lonely are not the same things. However, there are folks who feel lonesome at the mere idea of living on their own. Setting up home all-by-yourself though, need not be a depressing experience. Here are some tips for easing that friendless feeling.

• If you have the TV or radio constantly turned on, if you reach for the phone the minute you get home, if you spend every evening trawling for friends on the Internet, you’ll never experience the benefits that solitude can bring. Give yourself a chance to enjoy the peace and quiet. Switch everything off. Try it for just half-an-hour at first. Fill the void by doing something useful. Put those photos in frames, bake a cake, finish painting the bookcase, you’ll see that time whizzes by and silence isn’t so terrifying.

• The word hobby smacks of school. But a hobby needn’t involve stamps or model aeroplane packs. In fact, hobbies are lifesavers when loneliness threatens. Why not learn something new, or write something, grow something, sew something, take up cooking or yoga, read, paint, draw, make things or perfect your computer skills. There are a million pleasant ways to spend the day by yourself.

• Live as if you have guests in your house. All the time. Why wait for your mother to arrive before you buy flowers? Why wait for a friend to visit before you dish up something delicious for supper? Make you home life heavenly. The simplest things can look lovely, smell nice and taste good. Also, ignore that nonsense about drinking alone. Addiction is a problem, even in a crowd. But a glass of wonderful wine tastes just as terrific with nothing but music for company.

• If your lifestyle and finances are stable, and you are able to dedicate the time, animals make great companions. If your circumstances aren’t suited to the permanent inclusion of something furry, offer to pe-sit for friends and neighbours. Owners are always thrilled to find someone kind who will take care of their Rover for a weekend. Spending time with a warm blooded creature, if only for a couple of days, really does make you feel less isolated.

• Use all the hot water. Eat the last Hob-Nob. Spend the grocery money on a manicure and live on poached eggs for a week. Who cares? Listen to the blues all night long and sing-along. Move the furniture at 3am. Wear jogging pants for days, sleep on the sofa two nights in a row … no one will know. And if you scratch the car, nobody’s around to tell you what a klutz you are. There are disadvantages to residing alone. And the funny thing is, no matter how much you dread those first lonesome nights, you’ll probably get to quite like it. Next thing you know, you’ll be thinking twice about sharing your living space again.

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